The River, The Thief, The Fighter

 

” My life will be in the water, and like the water I will be forever moving.”

If I had to describe my life like a body of water I would say that lately it has been constant and vigorous rapids full of jagged rocks that cut me deep. I am tired of my tears for you shaping the river!

I told you from the beginning that I would give you the sun, the moon, and the stars and I kept true to my world. As you praised me, little by little I gave you the sun, then the moon, and then finally the stars leaving myself in total darkness until you would come to me.

You took everything I had to give and yet still I thought it wasn’t enough, with kind words and course action you kept me weeping at your feet until finally there were no more tears to shed and no small part of my heart that didn’t belong to you. Then you broke me and threw me away in the darkness I had created for myself.

You took everything I had to give and left me with nothing of yourself, thief. Though I am in darkness I finally see through your lies and games. Though it hurts to be played The fact that you never loved me hurts more than anything you had done to me. Nothing could hurt me more than someone I care about not caring for me.

So tonight I told you that though I am still a weak little girl in love with you even as the bruises on my heart and spirit ache, I cannot allow our involvement to continue, With tears in my eyes I told you that we couldn’t be friends anymore and you sat in your chair staring at me! How could you just stare at me like that?!  I stepped away from you and you raced to the door, closing it in my face as I followed you out of the room. That hurt.

You took my rejection as I secretly hoped you would fight for me, for our friendship at least. But you let the dragon have you body and soul for you, black thief, have no heart. Even though I gave up waiting for you to come to me with apologies and excuses, your acceptance hurt me as you shunned me in a heartbeat. In that heartbeat my heart turned to ice and pained me. Why didn’t you try to argue with me?! Why didn’t you say “No that’s bullshit!” Do you really not care or is it that you were hurt by my words? Just once I wanted you to choose me, for a split second I wanted you to choose me and I would have loved you all over again.

Maybe that was for the best,

I love you, thief who stole my world and my heart, you are cruel and inhuman but I will love you still as I say my final goodbye.

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